Author: slytherinblack with thanks to aguynamedgoo for helping me work out the premise.
Theme: #16, Name
"Shit," Dean said. "I've seen a lot of strange things, but this one takes the cake. It's a fucking faerie." He pointed to the being they'd nearly literally run into in the woods. "And here I thought that Midsummer stuff was all hokey."
"We should know better by now," Sam said, rubbing his temples, because faeries were known for causing trouble in all the literature he'd read. "Pardon us," he said to the faerie. "We'll just be on our way."
It looked good. It looked as though the faerie was going to let them go by without giving them donkey ears or hauling them back to faerie land or whatever it was the cool faeries were doing these days.
Then Dean had to open his mouth.
"Excuse me, miss, I seem to have lost my phone number. Maybe I can borrow yours."
Two thoughts simultaneously ran through Sam's head: Oh, shit, and Why would a faerie have a phone?
"Why," the faerie said in a surprisingly masculine voice, "does everyone assume I'm a girl?" Dean looked taken aback. "Just because I have long eyelashes and pale skin and blonde hair and I'm a faerie, all you stupid humans keep calling me miss and sweetie and peach! Well, I'm sick of your sexism and stupid ideas about gender. Prettiness does not make someone a girl! I'm a dude. A dude!"
"Dude," Dean quipped, "You're wearing a skirt."
Oh, shit, Sam thought again.
The faerie rolled up his sleeves. "It's a kilt!" he said, and then there was a bright flash of light. When Sam's vision cleared, the faerie was gone and Dean was unconscious. Sam yelled Dean's name and dropped down beside his unconscious brother... and then noticed that he didn't exactly have a brother anymore.
Yes, the faerie had definitely turned Dean into a girl.
Sam checked to make sure Dean still had a pulse and was breathing, and then sat down and laughed himself silly.
By the time Dean woke up, Sam had managed to compose himself and get them both back to the hotel. Thus, Dean slowly woke up in the hotel bed, not quite aware something was wrong at first. A small frown creased his brow, however, and Sam realized Dean knew that something was wrong, even if he didn't realize what it was immediately.
"Dean," Sam said, in his best "talking to wild animals" voice. "I think the faerie decided to mess with you a bit. Um...stay calm and go look in the mirror."
Dean frowned, giving Sam and odd look and still appearing a bit out of it. He slid out of bed, the frown lines in his forehead getting deeper when his feet didn't hit the floor quite as soon as they normally did. He padded towards the bathroom, hips swaying a little more than they normally would. There was a significant pause.
Then Dean shrieked.
"I'm going to kill that bastard! C'mon, Sam, we're going back out there to find him right now-"
Sam stopped Dean with hands on his shoulders. "Dean, I don't think that's the best option. I'm sure there's a change back clause, probably when you learn whatever the hell he wanted you to learn."
"But Sam, I'm a girl," Dean whined.
"I noticed," Sam replied dryly. Perhaps a little more than I'd have liked to. "I can't believe I'm even about to say this, but remember that conversation we had where you said that you really wanted to know what sex is like for a girl?"
Dean made a vague noise that Sam wasn't sure how to interpret, but he forged ahead boldly. "Well, this is a good opportunity..." he waved vaguely towards the bathroom. Dean considered this briefly and then nodded and disappeared into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. The shower started up a moment later, and Sam tried really hard not to think about what was going on behind the door. As long as it made Dean slightly less homicidal about the situation, he could live with it.
"I can't keep calling you Dean," Sam pointed out vaguely a few hours later, after Dean had reappeared, eaten everything in the room, and then flopped down on his bed looking sleepy. "Not in public, anyway."
"How about 'I'll kick your ass if you give me a girly name,'" Dean suggested in response, though his words weren't very heated.
Sam rolled his eyes. "Deanna?" he suggested. "That'd be the feminine."
"Man, I can pick any name and you want me to stick with the same thing?" Dean questioned. "No imagination. And besides, I'd like something a little more gender neutral."
"Terry?" Sam suggested.
"Do I look like a Terry?"
"Charlie was that chick who almost got killed by Bloody Mary."
Sam huffed a sigh. "Here," he said, turning the newly booted laptop towards Dean. "Here's a name website. Knock yourself out, your royal pickiness."
Four hours later, Sam was three-quarters asleep from the boredom.
"Aidan," Dean spoke up suddenly.
"Uwha?" Sam asked, having no idea what was going on.
"Aidan. It can be used for both sexes, and it means fiery so it goes right along with my astrological sign."
Sam reflected that he really shouldn't be surprised Dean was into astrology. "Fine," he agreed. "Finally. Now look for a case."
"Me? Why me?"
"Because you've got the computer," Sam informed him, rolling over and burying his face in the pillow, a clear indication of his desire to return to sleep.
Dean shrugged after a moment. He was usually the one who found the cases anyway; that was his area of expertise. "Fine, Sammy. Sleep tight."
"Don't call me Sammy and I won't call you Princess," Sam mumbled from under the pillow.